The old farmer smiled and said: “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes here. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.’”

The lawyer asked: “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”

The farmer replied: “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.

His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees!

His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth.

The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and remaining strength and very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said: “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”

The old farmer smiled and said: “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”